Ash 30...sometimes...

Sometimes I have such dissapointing conversations with boys that for a moment I am back at age 20 when I hardly wanted anything to do with boys. In those moments I don't even want to sit next to them on the bus. The real true out "I think I might get married" has really only come to be in the last while, but sometimes I just think that I'm too emotional or introspective to have a normal, healthy relationship with someone. Don't get me wrong--I have so many guy friends who are being grown into awesome men of God...like Jake, Murray, Derek, Jordan, Greg, etc (and these guys love Jesus so much, they are sweeties, they are all around fantastic, that they do inspire hope in me)...but sometimes it just feels to overwhelming to imagine actually being in a forever type of relationship with any of that whole gender. I'm comfortable with me...I know me really well...Jesus I love...He's great and I trust Him. But you throw some unexpected, seemingly incomprehensible gentleman into this mix and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel that way with most of the great, amazing guy friends that I have anyways. Enough of that. There are papers to write and no time to think about these things. Goodness, God bless all of you in relationships...I take my hat off to you (when I'm wearing a hat). I think maybe high-fives all around would be more accurate. Okee.