Oh dearest Basketball! Why have you forsaken me!!....Amber

So as it turns out...I'm not as invincible as I once thought I was. One blow to the knee and I'm back in physiotherapy NOT playing the season that I've spent the last 5 months preparing for. Sitting here NOT being healed by the God who created me and loves me with all the love that is possibly available in the universe...NOT being able to work so I can pay my rent. NOT running so I'll be ready for my competition in the end of Feburary. NOT being able to deal with any kind of the stress that school regularly sends my way...

Okay relax...breathe...Amber's pitty party is over! Just had to give you some background information! I could blog all of the great and amazing things that have occured as a result of my knee injury, but I don't think that those are the lessons I'm supposed to learn through this. I know by now that there are reasons associated with events that happen in life.

I guess I've always used sports or running as my main method of coping with stress and in the back of my mind I've wondered what would happen if my body no longer allowed me to do these activities. Like if I was in prison somewhere, or on my sick bed...Ha! So the day has come a lot sooner than I thought. I may seem like I'm over exaggerating but my emotional life has been a complete rollarcoaster with more crying/aggression that I have ever experienced before with no real outlet that I am used to.

It's not as though I don't go to God in my times of crisis...but it was more that I met with God while I was running. It was "Our" place I suppose. One Psalm that I have memorized and say to myself almost hourly is:

Psalm 61: 2-4
From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For You have been a shelter for me,
A strong tower from the enemy.
I will abide in Your tabernacle forever;
I will trust in the shelter of Your wings

This scripture has been so valuable to me. It gives me goose bumps just reading it on this screen! I'm not sure how I got into this place of thinking that my release comes from some kind of solution or situation that I've put in place. Depending on my own ways.

Lord forgive me when I've believed that I am self suffient; when I have wasted time "dealing with things" my own way without recognizing your strength and incredible willingness of WANTING to be apart of my frustrations. You are what my heart aches for; You are my safe place.