Encouter THIS, weekend.....Amber
Hey yall. I should be studying at this very moment but I'm just so dedicated to blogging and to the art of procastination that here I am! Haha.
Encounter weekend was so wonderful! I mean besides the 12 hour drives where I was self diagnosing myself with ADHD, it coudln't have been more perfect timing. I've just been so frustrated lately with myself and where things are with YFC. I'm still praying about a program/internal structure but nothing seems to come. The only thing that I keep rediscovering are things that I know I don't want it to be; Just another number crunching, light flashing, formulatic program where we just fill time. And I know I've talked to so many people who say..."I want to be a pastor but I want it to look different; or I want to be a counsellor but I want it to look different; reach out". That's all great but what does that look like? When it actually comes to put my words into action, my mind leaves me blank.
Which is fine because it has to be the Holy Spirit at work. And the fact is, is that I can't think up the Holy Spirit (as funny as that sounds). But I do have the physical ability and talents to probably figure out a program that would work and maybe get some kids out twice a week on my own. I think that's the scariest part about doing missions and ministry in Canada/North America. The unfortunate fact is is that we don't need the Holy Spirit in order to run a "successful" ministry and that scares the shit out of me.
So I will continue to wait. Wait for an answer before moving. Even if it looks like I've failure, it was never up to me to succeed anyways. God truely wants to see these kids in relationship with Him, and I guess it's just time to start living as though I know that!
Encounter weekend was so wonderful! I mean besides the 12 hour drives where I was self diagnosing myself with ADHD, it coudln't have been more perfect timing. I've just been so frustrated lately with myself and where things are with YFC. I'm still praying about a program/internal structure but nothing seems to come. The only thing that I keep rediscovering are things that I know I don't want it to be; Just another number crunching, light flashing, formulatic program where we just fill time. And I know I've talked to so many people who say..."I want to be a pastor but I want it to look different; or I want to be a counsellor but I want it to look different; reach out". That's all great but what does that look like? When it actually comes to put my words into action, my mind leaves me blank.
Which is fine because it has to be the Holy Spirit at work. And the fact is, is that I can't think up the Holy Spirit (as funny as that sounds). But I do have the physical ability and talents to probably figure out a program that would work and maybe get some kids out twice a week on my own. I think that's the scariest part about doing missions and ministry in Canada/North America. The unfortunate fact is is that we don't need the Holy Spirit in order to run a "successful" ministry and that scares the shit out of me.
So I will continue to wait. Wait for an answer before moving. Even if it looks like I've failure, it was never up to me to succeed anyways. God truely wants to see these kids in relationship with Him, and I guess it's just time to start living as though I know that!
posted by Ash-Am at 11:19 AM
2 Comments:
Amber said " SHIT" !!
Jay
hee heee heee
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