So I live in an appartment with highlighted walls....Amber

I just got home from work and I am feeling joyous joyous joyous!! I don't know! I just finished reading this amazing book! And God is just so all over this book and I am all over God and it's just a really great time! No but seriously.... this has probably been the dryest season of my life! I always knew third year of nursing would be the hardest but my imaginations only let me dread the academic side of things.

BUT! It is almost at an end. I can already feel this weight lift off of my shoulders. For the past couple of days all I've wanted to do is dance dance dance! I am finally making a start on some of the spiritual discipines that I've been lusting after (and yes I did say lusting). Small things such as I told work that I'm not going to work night shifts anymore and I'm actually sticking to it (time boundary issues!!). I no longer reward the busy lifestyle that I have learned to cherish, and for the first time ever.... I think I really hate it! This North American idea of success has started to make me sick and so I think I should either move or give my time to God.

I've been actually thinking a lot about David recently. David in his sheparding days. I really like to think that he hated sitting there with those sheep, doing nothing while everyone was at war. And I think about how jiped he would have been if he spent that time just thinking about not being at war (where he wanted to be) and not fighting off the bear and the lion. I could just picture him sitting there watching the lion devour the sheep and thinking, "There goes that one. One less sheep to bathe". But he fought and worshiped and spent time in solitude. I love this quote by Mother Tersea....

"We need to find God,and he cannot be found in noise and reslessness. God is a friend of silence. She how nature-trees, flowers, grass-grow in silence; see the stars, the moon and sun, how they move in silence... the more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life. We need silence to be able to touch souls. All our words will be useless unless they come from within- words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness"

I'm anticipating more quiet moments. More discipline in my spiritual living. An increase of awareness of why I am doing what I do. My passion has changed from the seductive public to the silent private world of my heart! My reflection of this year will come from inner struggle as opposed to outer, measureable achievements. I want my mind to be sharp and alert; and I want to fall in love with study of the Word! And this is why I am dancing around my apartment at 1 am!