Ash 40...farewell...

Well this has been a crazy couple of days. Not like this whole month hasn't been like riding a tricycle through a blizzard, but these last few days have been actually remarkable. I had an ah-ha moment on Wednesday and felt confirmation in my spirit about some stuff Jesus just spoke to me about my future which is rad. Then today happened. Over the past 16 months I have had a special room-mate who was absolutely wonderful, constantly supportive, and incomprehensibly faithful to me. I of course am speaking of my fish Fieshae. Already you are probably smirking and thinking of how foolish I am to even remark of him. I already understand that he is a fish, that they don't tend to have long lives, and that he doesn't have a soul, so if you are going to respond inconsiderately on any of those topics please just don't. Fieshae actually brought something unique to my life. He didn't have an extremely exciting life--although he had his moments like when he jumped out of his bowl onto the floor at the LifeForce office--and he never spoke great words of wisdom, or even had many friends. But he was extremely commited to me. After you've watched your fish for a couple of months you can tell when he's happy and when he's not, and I swear when I was gone for a couple of days and somebody else had watched him, he was not happy. But once I was back he would swim excitedly around his tank. Ok, maybe I'm starting to sound skitzophrenic (haha) but regardless this fish loved me. He faced, and survived, numerous near-death experiences, and wowed me by the way he would get sick, almost die, and then just come back to me. Even when I was a crappy friend, and didn't clean out his bowl for a while and such, he never dissed me or died on me. He was extremely commited to our relationship. I wish I could be more like him in my other relationships. I wish I could be more faithful in friendship, more willing in intimacy. I wish I could be more consistant in showing up when people need me. I know that Fieshae was just a fish and that fishes die, but he taught me so much. I hope that I can be a good, faithful fish in my little fish-bowl to my friend Jesus. All this earth really is, is a small pond that we swim around in meaninglessly for a while. Sometimes the water gets dirty, or we get sick, but I pray that I can be so faithful to joyfully keep looking for food from Jesus and to hear his voice. Good news is that Jesus is a freak load better at taking care of us than I was of Fieshae, so the least I can be is as faithful to my Jesus as Fieshae was to me.