Ash...I am still alive...

It's been awhile since I've blogged but things have just been a bit crazy and my computer at work has been having some issues allowing me to make new posts (I blame it on the fact it's a stupid Mac). Anyway, I actually can echo Amber in sense that my joy has felt like it's been stolen the last couple of weeks. It seems like Street Invaders my life has been a rollercoaster. I've been spending alot of time with people and not that that's all uncommon, but the last year of my life was a really different season and I'm still adjusting. This week I officially started working for LifeForce and let's just say it sure feels like more than a week. I think the hard thing is that I find myself all of a sudden in a brand new community and although most of the people are old friends and people I know, it's hard for me to find someone to really connect with and be able to share my heart with. Part of its my fault at being so hesitant to be intimate so as not to get myself stepped on, but on the other side of things I just wish that someone would truly honestly ask me how I am and actually want to know. I've really been missing my bestest friends lately. You know those friends that can just sit with you and all of a sudden you don't even need to talk, you are content and at peace just to sit and be with someone who loves you. That'll be one of the best things about being married. Having that grey-sweatpants-comfortability. Hmmmm...so even though I am right emotionally tired tonight and feeling sick I refuse to let my joy be stolen, because joy is all around--I just need to make the choice to see it through my tears.