Ash...love soon...

It turned out to be a beautiful day. I had a fight with someone I care alot about today, but decided that I care too much about him to not apologize. Why is it that those that we truly care about we tend to beat against? I guess probably because I know that I'll be forgiven and love and grace will be given to me. Leading a team is hard sometimes. To be honest, most days I don't know what to say to bring hope and healing to the broken and seeking around me. I make mistakes, procrastinate, and feel overwhelmed. But there is something beautiful about weakness. Something that I'm really not even seeing yet. I keep hoping that one of these days I'll have an epiphany or grand miracle that ruins me for the world, but I don't think it'll come in a lightning bolt. I think it's coming in bits and pieces. In forgiveness, in fondly thinking of the ones I love, in hearing a homeless man's story, in seeing young people turn their eyes more fully to the face of Jesus--I'm starting to realize that these and so many more are the pieces that make up the beautiful life Jesus has prepared for me. The sun hanging low in the sky no longer summons the darkness of night, but rather call out a last promise of light given and light returning. So I sleep in peace and wake in hope. Tomorrow I'll likely say things I'll regret and do things I'll wish I could take back, as I did today. But maybe, and more likely, I'll see the face of Jesus in my homeless friend on the street, hear Jesus in the words of a student discovering Love, and feel Jesus in the hug of someone who continues to love me as what I one day will be. Praise God for that.