Ash 23...wednesday??...

Eeep! I can't believe that I forgot to blog yesterday!!! Egad! It might be better that way though considering yesterday was a hard day. I made a decision yesterday that I knew was God's decision for me, but I instantly felt opposition from my mom. I can imagine that it must be hard for my family to have a daughter/granddaughter who makes such illogical decisions sometimes on the basis that "I prayed about it." I think I have alot of commen sense and I'm pretty logical usually. But I would trade all the commen sense in me, and all the earthly wisdom contained in my flesh just to be 100% receptive and fearless to walk out in obedience that which God calls me to do. There was this guy that I went to high school with that came to mind yesterday when I was thinking about this. His name was Brent and he was possibly the greatest oddity yet obedient follower of Jesus that I might have ever met. This guy seriously lived in a different world. It was like every part of him was just tuned into God's frequency all the time. Everyone knew him too, possibly because he was kind of an odd duck--the unbelievers thought him strange and yet were drawn to him because of his amazing selflessness and love that just permeated out of him. And us believers well we just didn't know what to make of Brent. There would be jokes about how "disconnected" Brent was from the rest of the world. Looking back I think he was disconnected from the world--but my oh my was he connected to Jesus and that made him extremely connected to the very heart of the people in my high school. Everything about Brent just screamed Jesus' name. I was thinking about him yesterday because I wish I had realized then what a treasure it is to be in complete relationship with Jesus. And I know I'm blessed--I know the voice of God in my life and I hear Him speak daily--but I wish that the earthly fear that creeps in when attempting to carry out His plans would be gone from my life. That I could just be so connected to the heart of Jesus that it would seem I was in a different world, but that that wouldn't even matter to me. Brent led more people to Jesus and left more of impact for Jesus in my high school than any of the rest of us. Jesus help me to be obedient. Help me to walk through the fear. Help me to remember that You never leave my side. At work, at cell group, on the train, or as I fall asleep, you never leave me. Thanks for that, cause I need You more than anything else ever.