oh my swiss feces!........Amber

Ah I have no idea how I can start this blog. so much has been happening these last few days and now that I can finally talk about it it all seems crazy. I have decided to take a postition that was offered to me a while ago and God has really been confirming this decision in my heart. But for the past couple of months since God's taken me out of youth, inner city and college stuff...and just about basically everything...I've been trying to be in a place where I only need God to validate who I am as a person. To be frank, it's SO easy to take the things you do and the ministry you're invited into (by God) and use that to define who you are. Once everything is gone, you feel this ache because you've relied on so many other, imperfect things for so long that it feels like having God in your life isn't enough. So at the beginning of September all of these opportunities came rushing at me and I wanted to do them ALL!! But I knew I had to say no because of where I was at and with what God was doing with me. And God spoke a lot of things to me last weekend at the 24hr worship. So last week I get this phone call with the job offer and I went down to the center and it was AWESOME! Cereal! Everything just clicked and peacefull excitment came. The director asked me about vision and all of this stuff came out of my mouth! I have no idea where it came from! So these past few days have been about looking for confirmation and it's been hard because it feels like I'm torn between my head and my heart and logic when all I need is a yes or no answer from God.

And this morning I asked someone to pray for me about a decision that I needed to make (didn't tell him what it was about). And he stopped and looked into my eyes and told me that I needed to choose my heart. And not that it is about this person (whom I greatly respect) but just in my heart I needed God to tell me that it was okay to follow my heart. That passion is never a waste and that yes even though I'm in school, that He is preparing me still. AHHHHHH!!!!

Don't you love music? Possibly one of my favorite things God has created. So of course I'm driving home and these lyrics hit me:

So I throw myself upon all that you are
'Cause I know you gave it all for me
And when all else fades
My soul will dance with you
Where the love lasts forever

AHHH!! Even though I have no idea of anything... I will throw myself upon everything You are Lord!! Everything else DOES fade, and my soul will dance with You forever and it will always be You and me!! I'm not a youth pastor...I'm not an evangelist...I am not a program director...I will just always be Yours.
Just in case you are reading this and you don't know...GOD IS SO WONDERFUL