Restless in Stonewall.....Amber

I can tell that I'm getting restless because I've been blogging more. That doesn't make sense, but it's true. Restlessness. A horrible thing. It's like having so much energy without any kind of focus to put the energy into. It's a waste and it's frustrating. Sometimes my home, my town, my school, my province seems like prison because I am restricted here. And usually every couple of months I need to get out...even if I only go a couple of hours away to Brandon. But it's been less than a month since I've gotten home from Eston and I'm already getting edgey.

And it all brings me back to disipline. To be disiplined enough to be attentive in class, to study (not just read) the Word, to make wise decisions with my time and finances so that I don't lose my mind. My heart can burst with songs, my feet can dance for joy, I can jump in gladness, even mourn for the hurting. Passion is not usually the problem on most days. But I dunno...could you imagine Braveheart's William Wallace? Like if he just had passion without his sword to back himself up. To scream and yell about freedom and fighting... and he couldn't fight? Couldn't use a sword? If in his prior years of training...all he did was be passionate and not develop the character and skills he would need to back his passion up? I'm not saying that any of us has to worry about being "good enough" so we don't screw up in the future; But to be responsible in the training that God has us in right now. It's just so beautiful to see the fruits of discipline. The three D's (right Stef?). First you have a Desire, then you must Discipline yourself, and that's followed by Delight.

I don't see it as a legalistic thing; but as something that is valued. To be good with the small; To be David. To find rest in this prison called school.