Ash...you're already there...
Today I got home from Regina, cut my cast off (much to mother's dismay) and had the longest shower of my life. Then I began to pray...
It was in July of 2000 that I was part of a Street Invader team that went to Northend of Winnipeg. I was 16, naive, and overwhelmed by the poor and hurting I saw around me. But something was birthed in me.
Approximately a year and a half ago, last April, I planned a trip to Winnipeg--to visit my SISTER Amber and to scout out Winnipeg and see what God would tell me. As soon as I arrived I knew that was where God wanted me and the pull was so strong it was hard to leave. But I had LifeForce commitments so I knew the time wasn't right.
About a month after that God exploded a LOVE for aboriginal people in me.
Then I led a LifeForce team and through that whole time there was a battle going on inside of me as to whether or not I'd be obedient to go to Winnipeg. I was afraid. Afraid of what my family would think ( they did not want me in Winnipeg or working in dangerous situations), afraid of disappointing my LifeForce dad Lindsay (he wanted me to lead another team), and afraid of starting again in a new city (I was finally comfortable and happy in Calgary). I knew Winnipeg would require me to live by faith and I was afraid I wouldn't have enough. But I knew that's where God wanted me.
I came home from Lifeforce in May and thought I was going to Winnipeg right away but it kept not working out and I've spent the last 3 months wandering around western Canada, working at a wonderful camp, and leading a Street Invader team.
Now I'm in Swift Current. And it's time to go to Winnipeg. When I was planning for that trip to Winnipeg I started looking for jobs and God told me to stop--now I start the job that God gave me, at Siloam Mission on September 5. In May I started to scan the internet looking for places I could live and God told me to stop--I still don't know where I'll sleep but I know that God knows exactly where I need to live so I'm going there in faith not knowing where I'll go when I get there. Today when I got here I started wondering how I'll get to Winnipeg and I have no idea what the answer is to that either but I'm not worried about it.
I AM EXCITED TO START THIS JOURNEY OF FAITH!
I realized today that something strange had changed in me. I wasn't worried or afraid anymore. I didn't care about having things figured out or having some sort of plan laid out. (I bet Nathan Densley is wishing this had happened before T&T--haha). This strange new thing has suddenly burst forth in my spirit--faith. Heberews 12:2 calls Jesus the author and perfector of our faith. I LOVE that Jesus is the one who CREATES faith in me and then PERFECTS that faith. I was talking to someone tonight who knew me well as a crazy-about-order-anal-about-everything-list-making-figure-outer and after I told him about what I was doing and how excited I was about not knowing any of the answers he told me he couldn't believe it was the same Ashley. I'm not the same Ashley.
Oh man, and Jesus is doing some amazing things. I'm so absolutely exhausted from the last 7 weeks of my life, and yet even in this weariness my spirit is filled with joy and peace and wild excitement. God has started to tell me what I'm supposed to bring with me and what I'm supposed to get rid of and not bring and I'm excited to go through my boxes and get rid of stuff tomorrow. Oh that more and more of my flesh would die and more and more of Christ would live. Wow. I could tell more but this blog is so long and if you actually read all the way to the end of this you must really like me. What a journey. What a Jesus. I can't wait to see what He's already doing and going to do.
I love you Jesus. You are my best friend. Thankyou for giving me my faith trip.
It was in July of 2000 that I was part of a Street Invader team that went to Northend of Winnipeg. I was 16, naive, and overwhelmed by the poor and hurting I saw around me. But something was birthed in me.
Approximately a year and a half ago, last April, I planned a trip to Winnipeg--to visit my SISTER Amber and to scout out Winnipeg and see what God would tell me. As soon as I arrived I knew that was where God wanted me and the pull was so strong it was hard to leave. But I had LifeForce commitments so I knew the time wasn't right.
About a month after that God exploded a LOVE for aboriginal people in me.
Then I led a LifeForce team and through that whole time there was a battle going on inside of me as to whether or not I'd be obedient to go to Winnipeg. I was afraid. Afraid of what my family would think ( they did not want me in Winnipeg or working in dangerous situations), afraid of disappointing my LifeForce dad Lindsay (he wanted me to lead another team), and afraid of starting again in a new city (I was finally comfortable and happy in Calgary). I knew Winnipeg would require me to live by faith and I was afraid I wouldn't have enough. But I knew that's where God wanted me.
I came home from Lifeforce in May and thought I was going to Winnipeg right away but it kept not working out and I've spent the last 3 months wandering around western Canada, working at a wonderful camp, and leading a Street Invader team.
Now I'm in Swift Current. And it's time to go to Winnipeg. When I was planning for that trip to Winnipeg I started looking for jobs and God told me to stop--now I start the job that God gave me, at Siloam Mission on September 5. In May I started to scan the internet looking for places I could live and God told me to stop--I still don't know where I'll sleep but I know that God knows exactly where I need to live so I'm going there in faith not knowing where I'll go when I get there. Today when I got here I started wondering how I'll get to Winnipeg and I have no idea what the answer is to that either but I'm not worried about it.
I AM EXCITED TO START THIS JOURNEY OF FAITH!
I realized today that something strange had changed in me. I wasn't worried or afraid anymore. I didn't care about having things figured out or having some sort of plan laid out. (I bet Nathan Densley is wishing this had happened before T&T--haha). This strange new thing has suddenly burst forth in my spirit--faith. Heberews 12:2 calls Jesus the author and perfector of our faith. I LOVE that Jesus is the one who CREATES faith in me and then PERFECTS that faith. I was talking to someone tonight who knew me well as a crazy-about-order-anal-about-everything-list-making-figure-outer and after I told him about what I was doing and how excited I was about not knowing any of the answers he told me he couldn't believe it was the same Ashley. I'm not the same Ashley.
Oh man, and Jesus is doing some amazing things. I'm so absolutely exhausted from the last 7 weeks of my life, and yet even in this weariness my spirit is filled with joy and peace and wild excitement. God has started to tell me what I'm supposed to bring with me and what I'm supposed to get rid of and not bring and I'm excited to go through my boxes and get rid of stuff tomorrow. Oh that more and more of my flesh would die and more and more of Christ would live. Wow. I could tell more but this blog is so long and if you actually read all the way to the end of this you must really like me. What a journey. What a Jesus. I can't wait to see what He's already doing and going to do.
I love you Jesus. You are my best friend. Thankyou for giving me my faith trip.
posted by Ash-Am at 9:39 PM
2 Comments:
you are one amazing woman of god. you push me further than anyone i know. i love you ash. always and forever. now there's another reason for me to visit winnipeg. we need to talk soon.
I do really like you... alot!!!! You are absolutely incredible, even though we didn't get to spend a lot of time together at Bootcamp you still challenged me through your words and actions and now you continue to do so through your writing. Love you!!!
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