Ash...I love my job...

This picture is actually of a homeless man in Trinidad but these are basically the people that I spend my days with. If you didn't know I work for Siloam Mission as an Outreach Worker and everyday I build relationships with the people that walk through our doors. The director of a program I used to work for, Larry Moore, always said, "Figure out what you love to do and then get paid to do it." That quote comes to mind often because I really am doing and being paid to do what I absolutely love to do. I would say 99% of the people I see each day are battling an addiction of some sort. Cocaine and inhalants are the two biggest addictions in our area of Winnipeg so as you can imagine going to work can be pretty exciting most days. These people can love you one day, hate you the next, and not remember you the day after that, but I can honestly say that I deeply love them. Honestly, there are moments that I still get afraid--remember that I am a 22 year old female and most of our patrons are older males with colorful criminal records, but I have seen God at work even in the hearts of the hardest and it is an absolute delight to go to work each day. I wish you could meet Dennis--him and I pray everyday together, or Michael--I just gave him a bible and he already wants to talk about what he's reading or Cheryl--she has had such a hard time but still smiles and laughs with me. Even some of the more...energetic patrons like Joe who always announces very loudly to everyone that I am going to sing for them or Lisa, my dear schitzophrenic friend who has so much pain but is learning to love...AH I could tell you so many stories about the amazing people who are quickly becoming my friends. I wish you could come and meet them.

I am still having a hard time adjusting to living in Winnipeg and I am still getting lost everytime I leave the route between my house and work but I know that this is where I am supposed to be. A visit by anyone would make my day but I am learning to be content with where God has placed me. I still don't have a home church here and that is really difficult for me on Sundays when I get so homesick for my church in Calgary. But things are good and I am excited for tomorrow...and the day after that. I am going to start volunteering with this group that does kids club in the inner city and I am so excited for that...if you think the addicted homeless adults will touch your heart, the kids that live in these communities will absolutely break them. They have broken mine and I can't wait to hug those little lice infested babes!

I am learning that this new place in my life will look different than any place I've been before and I'm still missing things and people, but nothing is as satisfying as doing the will of Him who sent me.

Woot woot.

Ash...unpacked but not settled...

This picture is actually of a homeless man in Trinidad but these are basically the people that I spend my days with. If you didn't know I work for Siloam Mission as an Outreach Worker and everyday I build relationships with the people that walk through our doors. The director of a program I used to work for, Larry Moore, always said, "Figure out what you love to do and then get paid to do it." That quote comes to mind often because I really am doing and being paid to do what I absolutely love to do. I would say 99% of the people I see each day are battling an addiction of some sort. Cocaine and inhalants are the two biggest addictions in our area of Winnipeg so as you can imagine going to work can be pretty exciting most days. These people can love you one day, hate you the next, and not remember you the day after that, but I can honestly say that I deeply love them. Honestly, there are moments that I still get afraid--remember that I am a 22 year old female and most of our patrons are older males with colorful criminal records, but I have seen God at work even in the hearts of the hardest and it is an absolute delight to go to work each day. I wish you could meet Dennis--him and I pray everyday together, or Michael--I just gave him a bible and he already wants to talk about what he's reading or Cheryl--she has had such a hard time but still smiles and laughs with me. Even some of the more...energetic patrons like Joe who always announces very loudly to everyone that I am going to sing for them or Lisa, my dear schitzophrenic friend who has so much pain but is learning to love...AH I could tell you so many stories about the amazing people who are quickly becoming my friends. I wish you could come and meet them.

I am still having a hard time adjusting to living in Winnipeg and I am still getting lost everytime I leave the route between my house and work but I know that this is where I am supposed to be. A visit by anyone would make my day but I am learning to be content with where God has placed me. I still don't have a home church here and that is really difficult for me on Sundays when I get so homesick for my church in Calgary. But things are good and I am excited for tomorrow...and the day after that. I am going to start volunteering with this group that does kids club in the inner city and I am so excited for that...if you think the addicted homeless adults will touch your heart, the kids that live in these communities will absolutely break them. They have broken mine and I can't wait to hug those little lice infested babes!

I am learning that this new place in my life will look different than any place I've been before and I'm still missing things and people, but nothing is as satisfying as doing the will of Him who sent me.

Woot woot.

You are my Dreams...and there's nothing to do but believe....Amber

"Another day...just believe. Another day...just breathe"

These last few days have been days of dreams coming true. Cheezy I know...but I don't know any other way of describing it! As much as it's crazy to move and relocate life...I can't complain about ANYTHING! I am living with this crazy friend of mine whom I've spent the last 4 years missing...I'm working in my dream hospital...I'm in my dream clinical rotation...I live 12 minutes away from my dreamy boyfriend...I'm soon starting to play on my dream team (basketball) and there's a possibility that I'll be able to do my Sr. Practicum in my dream location (Yukon). I sense a theme! Honestly, God just has been so good.....

But in the middle of all of this I find myself still lacking. This last Sunday, the speaker talked about being consumed by the Word and Presence of God. He just repeatedly told us to "EAT the WORD"...let it consume you...and somewhere in the repeativeness I think something started to sink in. I know...where was I like 18 years ago when I gave my life to Christ and recieved instruction of such things.

But if I accomplish anything this year I hope it would be out of me working on getting closer to Jesus and then allowing others to be close to me. Never forgetting to love my community, while submitting my body, mind and soul under self-control and vigorous discipline. I want to love my Jesus under every circumstance...even when I feel like He's given me everything I need!

Ash...open wide our hearts...

So Winnipeg eh. My heart ached going to church today. I went to the Vineyard today and it was really good and I'm pretty sure that that's where God wants me to be but I'm still grieving my Calgary church. I miss my community there and just everything about that church. While I was worshipping today God gave me this picture of pulling a tree out of a pot and placing it in a new pot. He told me that this is what He has done with me and that it will take time for the roots to take hold of this new soil but that in time they will. My name actually comes from Ash-trees and I found it cool that this is what they say about ash trees: The wood is hard, tough and very strong but elastic, extensively used for objects demanding high strength and resilience. I like that--strong, resilient, flexible. I read somewhere also that ash trees are incredibly difficult to take out--they hold their ground amazingly well. After God gave me the pot picture this morning a lady came and prayed for me and told me that she got a picture while praying and it was the same potted tree picture--very cool. I know Winnipeg is where I'm supposed to be and Im excited to be here. I'm still waiting for my roots to take hold here but I'm confident that Jesus who called me here will keep me safely wrapped in Him. I love my job at Siloam. I absolutely love building relationship with my co-workers and the homeless people. God spoke to me today about Siloam being my church in a way. That I have the freedom and the responsibility from Him to prophesy and pray and speak His truth to each person I meet at Siloam. I spend so much time at work that I really want every moment to be Holy. Not some superficial religious mindset but just that in each moment I talk to someone or clean tables or sort clothes that I can have the attitude of Christ to love and be loved by Him. If you pray for me please pray that I would make friends at my church and find community and pray that as I build friendships with some amazing people at work that I would not grow weary in heart as I pour out but that I would constantly be filled with what I need from Jesus. Please pray for my friend Cheryl--she is going for surgery and she basically lives on the streets. She's had a really hard go at life but I have the privilege of getting to know her. Please pray that our relationship would grow and that she would be safe and healthy and that she would come to know Christ. And pray for the kids in the Northend of Winnipeg. WE get alot of them through our doors and my heart breaks for them--they live in chaos and desperately need Jesus so pray that I can be Jesus to them. Thank you for supporting me and remembering me even though I am far away. I love you all and carry you in my heart.

YAH FOR WINNIPEG!!!!

Me and Amber had a great evening on Friday night! We went out for supper at the river...walked to the Parliament buildings...saw the Purple City...went to the cathredals...saw a very x-rated statue of Mr. Louis Riel...then we went to an amusement park in the Rona parking lot. Honestly this city is crazy...I couldn't even begin to explain the bagpipe players I saw in the park or the french 4-person drama I witnessed at night in a cemetary...you need to come experience this place with us!!!

Ash...w is for winnipeg...

When I went to Tobago the first time all I wanted to do was to go to this tiny island off called Little Tobago. Nobody lives there and it's just a tourist attraction--there's tons of birds on it. Me and my friend Esther had almost no money so we just went to the town of Speyside in faith and prayed that God would get us to that island. A strange man instantly approached us and asked if we were interested in going to the island--we quickly explained we had very little money but he helped us out by paying off this fisherman in a very small boat. The boat guy (who looked exactly like Usher) took us there, said nothing, and drove back to land leaving us deserted on this island. We explored and swam and it was great. Then as the sun began to set we started getting a little concerned that Usher was not coming back for us. The feeling of nervous anticipation of what that meant, mixed with the excitement of camping on the beach was dashed as we saw his boat approaching.

That feeling, when I realized that we were left on the island, is what I experienced again today. Like I've been called to Winnipeg--I'm here now, exploring and looking around--and all of a sudden I've realized that I'm being left here. Not being left alone; as Esther was with me on the island, I too have many people and Jesus here with me. Mostly what hit me was the feeling of anticipation at what living here will mean. There's this strange emotion brooding in me--a feeling I have yet to discover.

After Usher picked us up I took a picture just like the one above and it's still one of my favorite pictures because it reminds me that everything ahead of me is just another island to discover...another Winnipeg to explore...another name to put a person to...

I know I'm not making any sense. It's just that there's something...I think I need to go pray...