Wheee....Amber

As much as I hate spending time by myself...I found myself alone in my apartment for the majority of today. But for once it was REALLY good! J.C. and I hit it up pretty good and I think that the most amazing part about spending the entire day alone in my apartment with God....is that when you see people you get SO excited! Not only because you haven't seen anyone else for 6 hours...but because God is so excited about people! It's almost like He's consumed by us, in the most healthy way possible!haha. But I went to take the garbage out a few minutes ago, one of my neighbours was doing the same thing and it was wonderful to take part of God's excitment of who these people...strangers...neighbours are! I mean who gets excited about small talk? God is SO good!

Ash...I'm going home...

YAH!!! YAH!!! YAH!!! I asked and I prayed and other people prayed and I GET TO GO HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!! It was starting to look unlikely that I would actually get to go home and I was preparing myself to settle with that. I mean honestly, I am so very blessed that my supervisor Theresa was even able to do this for me. Other people will be there working all Christmas holidays and I am so very privileged to get to go see my family and dear friends. I am flying to Calgary where I will get to see AMY (!!!!!) and go to CHURCH!!!!!! I will get to see my parents and then go home to Wymark to spend Christmas day with my wonderful grandma and grandpa!! I was so happy when Theresa told me that I almost cried right there in her office. Please don't mistake my enthusiasm...I absolutely love my job and my coworkers and the wonderful patrons. I know I am in Winnipeg for a reason and I love being here. But I really missed my family at Thanksgiving and I really desired to share this holiday with my family. I was reading in Luke 1 this morning where the angel tells Mary that "nothing is impossible with God". So I prayed that over a bunch of things today...over my desires, over my friends and family, over my coworkers and work environment...I prayed that the things that seem so impossible in our lives would be shaken and moved by the God of possibility. Jesus heard my prayers and knew my heart and gave me my desire to go home for Christmas...thankyou Jesus! Thank you so much! There are no words to adequately express my gratitude!! You are everything and I will follow you anywhere because I know you care about me, my heart and all the little things in my life and that your are active in all of it. Thank you Jesus, I LOVE YOU!!!!! Hmmm...so good...I GET TO GO HOME!!!!

Ash...smile you're on candid camera...

I have decided not to blog. There are too many fun things I want to go do right now. Not that there isn't much that I can say...so much has been going on in my life the past while and I am muchly full of joyness. But, right now it just lives here...in the people I spend my days with and the funny circumstances that occur in my daily moments. I know I need to write. I want to write. But right this moment I'm going to go punch Amber in the face and go work on a drawing...no blogging for me...

Ode to the instructor................Amber

What a week! What can I say? I would actually like to take this time to commend my nursing instructors. They are honestly amazing! I think that I've complained about being a student since the very first day of class, and I've been noticing more and more just how much students ARE complainers for the most part. I was changing in the hospital one day and I sat there and listened to these two student nurses (I didn't know them) complain about their school work for at least 15 minutes!!

But instructors wake up everyday and come to school to spend time molding us into nurses who will be compentent and compassionate. They pour their life experience into making our experience as nurses a success and joy! They care more about the kind of care we will give our future patients more than they care about the type of grade we get. They take responsibility for who we become and pride in what we've already accomplished. They extend their heart and selves to us!! So incredible!

And I have one instructor (who will probably never read this) right now who is amazing! To be honest I had a few concerns before starting her clinical as she had a reputation to be inapproachable and tough, but as I've spent these last 3 weeks with her I've learned more than I could have possibly taught myself. Not only has she made me more skilled and compentent, she's exposed to us her heart! One class this week she was explaining to us a story of a past patient of hers and tears were running down her face. She is such an inspiration to me! She shows me how being compentent in skill and fact is actually apart of loving your patients.

As cheezy as it sounds, these instructors have given us a cause. They push us to stand up and advocate for our patients, as the hospital is a place of change and vulderbility. There are so many characteristics of God that I see in them, that I hope I hold closely to me for the rest of my life!

Why can't we change the world??.....Amber

So at last here we are in my third year of nursing...the long anticipated nursing ethics class. Today's class was on abortion. There's a lot of things I didn't know about abortion (the legal aspect of it), such as:

1)that the fetus has NO rights whatsoever?!? One minute he/she is just a piece of tissue, the next minute after birth(when this "piece of tissue" is screaming his/her head off)he/she is a human with full rights.

2)That abortion is considered to be morally equivalent to contraception?!

All I could do this morning was sit in class and try not to vomit. And then after that...I sat and wondered if I sat there and concentrated hard enough...I could use my strong mind powers to change the thinking of everyone in that room. Haha if I could be discusted enough that my heart's torment would radiate into my neighbour's skin and soak into their brain...OR maybe I could think of something to say that would be so brilliant that it would change the attitudes of every healthcare worker in the WORLD!!

Did you know that you can do anything to an unborn child? A woman in the states took a pellet gun and shot herself up her vagina to kill her baby. And of course no charges can be made because the fetus has no rights.

No this wasn't supposed to turn into a blog re-stating all of the pro-life views...it really isn't about that. It just leads me to further believe that the world is far from being pain free. And when finally I get my head out of my own problems, it's not hard to hear the world screaming out. All of a sudden my classmates look different, riding the bus feels bizare and the patients I work with become mult-dimensional. Why can't I stop crying?


I want lives around me to change now!! Not after I'm done school...not when I have my life figured out...not waiting until I feel capable!! Why not?! why can't the world change?! Excuses! I'm so full of them! God is just waiting for us to put down those excuses that we hold onto so tightly!! Some days I feel like I'm going to explode unless God does something...other days I'm perfectly satisfied with living life the way it is and coping with the little bumps and toils. Keeping to myself and hoping the best for everyone else! Who wants to get dirty anyways...right? ack gross...I can't even believe I just typed that

"The shadows rule the night. They hide blinded by the day and thus cannot be seen. The day is free. It is during the night they take mankind captive, keeping them in their slumber. We must walk into the shadow's darkest place. Only there will we know if we have light enough." Entry 988/ The Perils of Ayden