Oh dearest Basketball! Why have you forsaken me!!....Amber

So as it turns out...I'm not as invincible as I once thought I was. One blow to the knee and I'm back in physiotherapy NOT playing the season that I've spent the last 5 months preparing for. Sitting here NOT being healed by the God who created me and loves me with all the love that is possibly available in the universe...NOT being able to work so I can pay my rent. NOT running so I'll be ready for my competition in the end of Feburary. NOT being able to deal with any kind of the stress that school regularly sends my way...

Okay relax...breathe...Amber's pitty party is over! Just had to give you some background information! I could blog all of the great and amazing things that have occured as a result of my knee injury, but I don't think that those are the lessons I'm supposed to learn through this. I know by now that there are reasons associated with events that happen in life.

I guess I've always used sports or running as my main method of coping with stress and in the back of my mind I've wondered what would happen if my body no longer allowed me to do these activities. Like if I was in prison somewhere, or on my sick bed...Ha! So the day has come a lot sooner than I thought. I may seem like I'm over exaggerating but my emotional life has been a complete rollarcoaster with more crying/aggression that I have ever experienced before with no real outlet that I am used to.

It's not as though I don't go to God in my times of crisis...but it was more that I met with God while I was running. It was "Our" place I suppose. One Psalm that I have memorized and say to myself almost hourly is:

Psalm 61: 2-4
From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For You have been a shelter for me,
A strong tower from the enemy.
I will abide in Your tabernacle forever;
I will trust in the shelter of Your wings

This scripture has been so valuable to me. It gives me goose bumps just reading it on this screen! I'm not sure how I got into this place of thinking that my release comes from some kind of solution or situation that I've put in place. Depending on my own ways.

Lord forgive me when I've believed that I am self suffient; when I have wasted time "dealing with things" my own way without recognizing your strength and incredible willingness of WANTING to be apart of my frustrations. You are what my heart aches for; You are my safe place.

Reflections....Amber

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? Worked at a drop in centre, disimpacted a patient, worked as a health care aide, been in a relationship that has lasted longer than a month and moved out! woot woot!

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions and will you make more for next year? ummm...I'm pretty sure last year's new years resolution was to drink less coffee and I'm even more sure that I've stopped making new years resolutions...

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Not that I can remember....I should probably remember these things...

4. Did anyone close to you die? no one that I was extremely close to...but a couple of people from my home town and one patient that I especially got close to in the hospital.

5. What countries did you visit? ACK...don't even talk to me.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? Balance

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched in your memory, and why? June 26th is probably the only date I could remember accurately...what a night eh Evan? haha

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? What kind of question is this? ahha. Surviving the summer seems to stick out in my mind. OH! And passing maintenence (a nursing course)!!!!

9. What was your biggest failure? areas of self control/discipline in my life that are lacking;

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? A funny case of viral Bronchitis (so I think) that has been with me all fall. I woudln't say that I'm suffering this illness anymore...but moreso befriending it.

11. What was the best thing you bought? coffee...luckily that happened weekly...sometimes daily. Or my new pair of runners that are pink and amazingly light!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Aimee...for making a hard decision; Robyn for talking me out of extending my third year of nursing; Ashley for putting up with me as a room mate; and lastly Evan for his boldness and selfless leadership

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Ack besides mine? Actually a couple of people in my nursing class got caught cheating on a test and the thought of that happening in a profession such as nursing makes me sick. Some healthcare professionals' uncompassionate methods.

14. Where did most of your money go? coffee...HAHA! just kidding. Gas during the summer, rent during the fall and school ALL the TIME!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? hmmm...there is much that makes me excited! The enormousness of my Bestest and most powerful Friend and King, connecting the future with today, worship in my room with paints and dancing, potential silent moments of rest, being done school early and going to the Yukon, my studdly, most attractive and Godly boyfriend Evan Ross Moffat, Hiking the West Coast Trail and winter camping, piano, nursing (more specifically needles...haha just kidding).

16. What song will always remind you of 2006? For some reason "All I Can Say" by David Crowder band always comes to mind.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? hmmm..the same I think
iii. richer or poorer? definately poorer financially...but richer in something better....

8. What do you wish you'd done more of? I wish I did more of nothing. Just more resting in God

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Everything!hahah jk. less drinking of the coffee. Less worrying...less procastinating

22. Did you fall in love in 2006? wow these are personal!

24. What was your favorite TV program? MASH! And Home improvement...but I haven't had a tv for a while...

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Hating people is an option?

26. What was the best book you read? "Seizing your divine moment" By Edwin McManus

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? that I still love piano

29. What did you want and not get? Time with the kids at the drop in centre...with opportunities to see God move

30. What was your favorite film of this year? I can't remember (i've actually put a lot of thought in this question too!)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Hmm...has an interesting encounter with the police, and just did school and basketball. pretty dry stuff. Oh and I was/am 22

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? travelling somewhere new and exciting!!!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? whatever is on the floor...and then some scrubs

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? does public figure mean anyone who is in public?

36. What political issue stirred you the most? ack...lately abortion just because of discussion that has been happening in school. The political issue of being politically correct

37. Who did/do you miss? I missed Evan when he was tree planting and Ash when she was...well...everywhere! I miss STef a lot and i don't get a chanc eto talk to her like EVER

38. Who was the best new person you met? I met this girl on the bus named Phillyis twice and she seems pretty awesome!

39. Quote a few song lyrics that sums up your year:
"Amazing love
Now what else shall I need
Your name brings life

My world was changed
When your life you gave for me
My purpose found
And all that you want for me

Take me to a place
Where I can see you face to face
And all I want to do
All I want to do"